Updated 12:16 pm, Oct 18, 2017

From alarms in sanitary pads to uselessness of Karwa Chauth: Twinkle Khanna’s 10 life lessons | SNE

By  Hindustan Times .
Sep 27, 2017

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Twinkle Khanna was awarded the Vogue Opinion Maker of the Year at the Vogue Women of the Year Awards on Sunday. To make it memorable not just for herself but also for those present in audience, Twinkle had just the right thing.

The author recited the 10 lessons she has learnt in the last 10 years of her life. They ranged from things like what she needs an alarm in her sanitary pad and to how useless it is to keep fast on Karwa Chauth for her husband. Check them out:

1. It’s true that we get more comfortable in our skin as we get older but that is also because that poor thing is not as tight as it used to be.

2. We don’t need GST on our sanitary pads. What we need instead is an alarm inside it, not a wide breaking one as it would set us on a different path altogether, but an alarm nonetheless that warns us of imminent overflow and saves us from the 100 trips we make to the bathroom just to check. Now that’s a product I could not grudge the GST on.

3. Millions of Indian women fast for their husband’s long life on every Karwa Chauth. My dear friend who just won an award does immortalise this in his movies but I don’t think that our 3033 gods are really listening. Because when the mortality charts show up, there are 147 countries above us where their men outlive our good old Indian dudes. So ladies stop because it’s clearly not working.

4. It’s difficult to befriend your present if you are still quarrelling with your past.

5. God could not be everywhere so he created mothers and the devil could not be everywhere so he created mothers-in-law. Having said that I feel like I am going to be a terrible one.

6. The only thing free in life is bad advice. Enough said.

7. Botox unfortunately does not make you look younger. It just makes you look like you are a part of a secret alien invasion desperately trying to fit in with the humans.

4. It’s difficult to befriend your present if you are still quarrelling with your past.

5. God could not be everywhere so he created mothers and the devil could not be everywhere so he created mothers-in-law. Having said that I feel like I am going to be a terrible one.

6. The only thing free in life is bad advice. Enough said.

8. Our satellite only reached Mars because it was called mom. I am certain that if it was called dad it would still be circling the Earth, lost but not willing to ask for directions.

9. Life is but a chance in the game of choice.

10. For centuries women have been looking for a cape but have been given an apron and it’s only recently that we have learned how to swing our aprons around. So let it flutter down our backs and let it take to the skies.

Recently, she also wrote an acceptance speech for her actor husband Akshay Kumar when he won the Most Beautiful Man of the Decade award at the Vogue Beauty Awards.“To my overpaid trainer, and my underpaid cook, a big thank you for helping me maintain this ‘Beautiful Man of the Decade’ body which I have. Though part of the credit should also go to the fact that I did not have two carry my two children for nine whole months,” Akshay read out at the event.

Twinkle is the producer of Akshay’s upcoming film Padman. The film is directed by R Balki and also stars Sonam Kapoor.

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